I used to keep a diary. This is where I jotted down all the answers to all the questions. I assumed my clients would want help on them. Frankly speaking that was worst method I ever used ever since I started working. This explains why I would get the same patient with the same problem more than once. This wasn’t because my solutions were bad. The problem was I got used to saying the same thing to a point that I forgot to listen. Get ready for a fresh new incite on 10 ways to deal with a cheating partner.
Fixing the Problem
In most cases. The problem and the question was the same. For example .How do I deal with my cheating partner?It came in totally different vessels. People who had different principle priorities goals and feelings. My failure came in not paying attention to those differences. This just gave me one rule that I began working with .There is no one size fit all advice in life. Situations are different and therefore to get gratification treat each case independently.
When faced with infidelity in a relationship, the first thing most partners do is ask for space or decide to permanently leave. However they sometimes fail to stick to that decision and eventually keep moving in circles. There are pillars that do not detect a way forward. But will help you in making the best thought process before you can get to a solid decision.10 ways to deal with a cheating partner
10 ways to handle a cheating Partner
- Communicate .-often times we don’t ask questions and the unattended curiosity hinder progress to move on. Don’t assume, ask and express yourself too verbally when you feel the need. This will help you know whether you should stay or not. It has been proven cheaters don’t like being asked questions. This is a shame because the cheated on likes to ask. They want to know all about the person who their partner cheated with. This creates a problem on how to communicate. Find a middle ground on how you are going to talk about this. Once the ground is established. Ask away. They is a difference between communicating and arguing. Communication is both ways. Arguing is miscommunication. Do not pressure a confession out of them but try to be understandable and civil.
- Support network -have a constant reliable base. People you can talk to and that can check on you when you are going through this.
- Place value on your mental health. This might need an experience of both sides, don’t stay in a relationship or try to fix things when you know it will constantly trouble you and having that person around is a constant reminder. Also don’t walk away only to have a breakdown you will hardly recover from. In short, do what gives you the most peace.
- Acknowledge your feelings.– Hate, vengefulness, violence, anger and regret.Whatever you feel after someone you trusted cheats on you. Do not, i repeat, do not sit on it without dealing with it. You can successfully hide it from people around you now.Only to have stronger relapses later. This will hinder your relationships with others now and later.
- Check for remorselessness and seek the truth. In the case that you have decided to listen to what your partner has to say, be sure to check and know whether they are apologetic, remorseful and regretful. Also watch out whether they are telling the truth or they are still lying despite your efforts to rebuild. This will prevent you from falling back into the same trap and living in a vicious cycle.
- Decide your worth. FULL STOP.
- Identify patterns– this is for those who have partners cheating on them more than once.
- Don’t rash decision-Go through each every step you need to before you know exactly what you need to do. Ask for space if you feel the need as you get to that decision. .
- Put in the work needed– whether you are trying to get over you partner or rebuild a broken trust, none of them is a passive process.
- Access the Damage Weather you accept this or not, damage has already been done .This is the part that you access what has been broke due to this infidelity act. First things first, you need to check,” health wise” if you are damaged you in any way. By this I mean getting tested. Get tested for HIV, STI and STD’s. If you are not familiar with these terms STI stands for Sexually transmitted disease and STD stands for Sexual transmitted infection. Be firm and strong .Do not take their word for it. It is not uncommon to hear a cheater say something like “I know their clean.” Make a firm decision, book an appointment and get checked out professionally.
- Weather you accept this or not, damage has already been done .This is the part that you access what has been broke due to this infidelity act. First things first, you need to check,” health wise” if you are damaged you in any way. By this I mean getting tested. Get tested for HIV, STI and STD’s. If you are not familiar with these terms STI stands for Sexually transmitted disease and STD stands for Sexual transmitted infection. Be firm and strong .Do not take their word for it. It is not uncommon to hear a cheater say something like “I know their clean.” Make a firm decision, book an appointment and get checked out professionally.
- Once you get the results. This will equip you with the tools you need make a decision, as to want to do next.
- The 2nd part on accessing the damage is centred on your emotional state. Book an appointment with a registered psychologist .Let them help you figure out what is broken in you, due to the infidelity. Try to not rush this process because if something is left untreated or unattended to, it might resurface later.
- Once the results are in, let it soak in, accept reality and deal with it. It might not be easy but time is your best friend, with time you will feel better as the saying “goes time heals all wounds “
- Forgiveness -This might sound like one of those things you have heard a thousand times . Each time you heard it lost its importance every time. I assure you forgiveness is as about you as much as it is about the other person. I cannot stress this enough, you need to forgive, period. It doesn’t matter what they have done. Forgiveness will help you sleep at night. Forgiveness comes as a sign that you have accepted reality and you have let yourself feel the pain. Deal with grief and get it over with. After you are done you will notice how much easier it is to move on. Cheating is not condoned but when forgiveness deals with it makes you a better person overallly
Check out “Specifics on how to Keep your man Happy “